leodragon1

Hey, if you guys were curious about what my speech processor looks like, here's a You Tube link to a pretty good video clip:


http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=tj4GK46xuG0&feature=related


And now, I'm off to bed. Got the Christmas lunch tomorrow. Well I say lunch, but it's actually a party that goes on from noon until five. How's that for letting your hair down? It's going to be a great day.

Awesome news! A spare processor is being mailed to me as even as I write this!

:- )  :- )  :- )  :- )  :- )

I made the dreaded phone call to my audiologist yesterday, who was very awesome and understanding. She said that she was SURE that they had a spare processor that she could give me until I managed to get a new one. She added that she would contact me as soon as she knew either way. I wanted to hug her through the phone! *lol*

But I still had  to worry that there wasn't one available. That's me, glass half empty.

If you're confused as to what I'm talking about - apparently they call the part of the cochlear that I wear over my ear the processor. I like that name actually, cos that's exactly what it does. It picks up the soundwaves outside my ear and processses them into electrical impulses for my brain to translate and turn into sound. Cool, eh?

Anyway, this morning I got an email confirming that yes they had one, and would I like to get it posted or picked up?

God, what a relief! I have never replied so fast or so eagerly to an email in my life.

I decided to have it posted to me since that would be easier than trying to come in, what with the mad Christmas rush at work thlis week.  Hopefully I'll get it in the mail tommorow (which is a Friday). Do they deliver on the weekend before Christmas? You know, for all those letters and presents being sent through the mail at the last minute? I hope so anyway.

So I will only have been without a processor for a week. Not too bad. I'm sure it won't have made any difference to my progress. Yay!

I'm still sorting out the insurance side of it, but at least I can take as long as I need to claim it as lost. So there's a good chance that the costs will be covered for a new one. Double yay!


P.S. I told my family about losing the processor the day after it happened. Mum was actually pretty calm, trying to figure out if I actually did have insurance as she thought she might have done that part for me. It was my sister who read me the riot act about not insuring it. Typical - she's the responsible one and would've insured it from the get go. Sometimes I hate her.

Do you know what happened today?

I don't even want to say this...

I lost my cochlear.

I LOST MY COCHLEAR.

*headdesk and stays there*

I'm actually talking about the hearing-aid part of the cochlear. It sits over my ear and is the part that lets me hear out of my deaf ear.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. This isn't like like losing a pen or even my car keys! This is an expensive piece of equipment and I'm supposed to wear it as much as I can, so that my hearing improves each day. And now it's lying on the floor somewhere and it's not like I have my name on it!

It was so stupid! I went on the bike with Shelley today, and I had to wear a helmet. The last time I went on the bike, I was paranoid and careful enough to take the cochlear off first and put it in my bag, because I had noticed how tight the helmet was and didn' t want it to come off when I pulled the helmet off. Well, this time I just blithely put the helmet on and managed to forget I was wearing the cochlear. How could I forget that?!

I guess I'm just more used to wearing it now. Oh, the irony.

We went to a couple of places and walked around town for an hour or so, so there's several places where it could've fallen off. I only realised it was missing because I decided to turn it back on and try listening with both ears for a bit. When I'm with someone, sometimes I just use the hearing-aid for a rest. So I might have noticed sooner if I was actually going to use it! Oh, that makes me feel so much better.

Shelley must've seen the shock on my face, because she asked me what was wrong. And then we went back to to the bar and the library and bike to see if it was there. Noooo. I really didn't think we would find it though. And now I'm so depressed. I'm going to have to find out how much a new one costs and see if the insurance covers losing the silly thing. But, uh. I hadn't insured it yet. Yes, I know! Hopefully I can still put the forms through and THEN tell them I need a new one or something. But I'm sure there's a waiting period, they're not dumb. But I need to do something like this, beause I think they cost about seven thousand dollars. I don't have that kind of money lying around!

This could so easily have been avoided if I'd been more careful. It's just so typical of me. I'm not careful enough of my things. I'm going to have to tell Mum, and I can just imagine her reaction. Sort of disappointed and frustrated and sympathetic. *sigh*  I'll do it tomorrow, I don't have the energy tonight. Got big bottle of coke here and will probably drink the whole bottle tonight. Since I'd only just decided to quit having cool drink all time and stick to water, this is kinda like falling off the wagon. WHAT THE HELL, I'M ENTITLED. At least I'm not breaking out the beer stash.

Where is it? Anyone picking it up isn't going to have a clue what to do with it. If I'm really lucky and that person is really smart, maybe they'll see that it looks like a hearing aid (and how many people know what a hearing-aid looks like?), so they'll ring up a hearing centre and ask what to do with it. And hopefully the hearing centre will know that the Lions Institute does cochlear implants and send it to them and I'll get a call. But they won't know to call ME unless I tell them I've lost it.

*meep*

Maybe I won't be so upset tomorrow, but right now? Totally kicking myself.

I poured myself a glass of coke just now, and I heard the fizzling of the coke as it went into the glass!

I don't know why I'm so excited by that, but I just am. Maybe because it's the most subtle sound I've heard with the cochlear so far.

Baby steps, but each new step is awesome!

Oh man, I never thought getting used to my cochlear implant would be so hard, or so freaking tiring.

( Read more... )

Wow.

I've been wearing the cochlear hearing-aid for a few hours now, and it feels WEIRD. I've taken it off for a short break. I'll put it back on in half an hour when I start watching my show.

I'm absolutely amazed at what's coming through. But I'm not excited and bouncing off the walls just yet, because I've got proof that I really do have a long way to go. At the moment, I can't hear any sounds with the cochlear yet. All I've been getting is sensations.

It's really hard to describe. When my cochlear picks up something, I feel a pressure in my brain. Kind of like the pounding of a headache but without the PAIN of the headache. Vibrations maybe? And at the moment it's hard to pinpoint where the "sounds" are coming from. Sometimes I can - when a voice came on over the PA while I was waiting somewhere, I knew that it was the PA I was picking up. But I had my other hearing-aid turned on at the time, so that probably helped. With it turned off, it's a lot harder.

The switch-on itself was pretty cool. The audiologist turned on six of the twelve wires, one at a time. She started from the lowest possible hearing register for each one, and upped it until I said that I heard something. The first time it happened I twitched and went, "What was THAT?" She asked me if I heard or felt it. I told her that it was like a bouncing in my brain or something. "Felt it, then," she said. She tried it with the others and each time I felt it. Only once did I actually hear a sound, and it was a metallic kind of noise. Which was a good sign. Because, since I've never heard sounds with that ear, it was never certain that my brain would be able to eventually recognise sound with the cochlear.

I'm really glad I have that bit of good news to hold to my chest. I've gotta admit to being disappointed with not hearing any sounds at all at the moment. I'm hearing with the six nerves all at once now, and I've been feeling vibrations all afternoon. Even at home where things are nice and quiet. Maybe it's my brain adjusting? It's not painful, but it's a whole lot of new sensations!

I'm going to watch a bit of TV in a while and listen to it with just the cochlear, and with subtitles on the TV. Just to see if I can identify the vibrations. Tomorrow I'm going to my mum's place (which always has SOME noise going on!), and I'll wander around and try to identify what "sounds" I'm picking up. Like maybe the kettle boiling, a baby crying (my nephew James will be there), the ding of the microwave, or even the TV. That's my task at the moment.

Can't wait until Monday for the next switch on session. I already have a lot of questions for the audiologist!

 You have no idea how many times I've had people joking about getting "switched on".

Okay, that's a lie. I've only heard the joke from four people, but since that joke went through MY head before anyone else brought it up, you can bet that it went through everybody's head. One guy even said I would be turned on.

*groan*
 *laughs*

Reason I'm bringing it up is that the switch-on is happening in four hours and I am sooo nervous. Woke up late this morning, had to rush out the door and have only just stopped. I promise to blog about the session afterwards, but I just had to make a post about the fact that this is going to be a LIFE-CHANGING thing.

I'll be able to go to social situations and have debates with people, gossip, flirt and generally enjoy myself. Only other deaf people will understand just what a big deal that is. How can you let your personality come through when communication gets in the way? Imagine two people speaking a different language trying to talk to each other. Or better yet, imagine a french-speaker trying to understand a group of english speakers. Boring and frustrating. You would end up wandering away and reading a book instead.

I hope I manage to get speech-recognition with the cochlear implant, ideally within twelve months. What will things be like until then? I just hope I work as hard as I possibly can with it and don't let myself down. 

*bites fingernails*

I'm bad. I was going to do a post on Wednesay after the post-op consultation with Prof. Atlas. It's three days later and I'm only just getting around to it.

Oh well. Three days ain't that bad.

Anyway, the consult was just fine. The doc looked over the scar and checked the inner ear. He said it all looked good, no side-effects or problems. So I can go ahead with the switch-on, which will be in two weeks. God, the suspense!

I'm back at my place now. I went home today, and I'm pretty much back to normal. It was nice having the two weeks off at my mum's place, believe it or not. I didn't have to worry about shopping or cooking, though I did help out with stuff in the second week. My brother and sister-in-law were there too, because they're in the middle of selling their apartment and buying a house. So I got lots of time with my five month old nephew too. He is just the cutest thing. Such a charmer.

I was pretty tired for the first week, so I didn't spend that much time on the computer at all. I kept closing my eyes during stories. That wasn't a reflection on the writing either :-D I didn't think just staring at the screen took so much out of you. So I haven't read that much stuff. Perhaps it's just as well that the j2 big bang hasn't been posted yet. But I feel fully recharged and back in the saddle now, so I've got catching up to do.

But we still haven't had the latest spn episodes on TV here yet. What is my network planning?!

Whoot. The week is nearly over. And what a week!

I switched over to a lighter bandage the day before, and this new one finally came off yesterday, so now all I have left is just a bit of tape over my scar. Which is going to be almost hidden behind my ear, and my hair of course. It feels tender, and I still need painkillers at night to help me get a good night's sleep. But I just pretty much have to wait for the tape to come off on its own, and  then it'll be fully healed.

I still get tired and I snoozed a couple of times during the day this week. I haven't been on the computer all that much either, funnily enough. But I was able to wash my hair in the basin this morning (with Mum's help), so I went out for a change of scene and did some shopping. Bought a new pair of shoes for work, so now I'll have two things to show off when I go back in a week :-D

I'm glad I had the time off that I needed, and I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about that. I'll be back to work when I'm ready and refreshed. The temp is doing my daily tasks, so I'm not worried about the workload either. It was a good time to take a break actually! I'm enjoying it while I can.

My team at work sent me some flowers, can you believe that? I was completely suprised, but touched. They're a good team, and have been really supportive of my gettng the implant and taking leave. They wanted to know what would happen with the switch-on too, and I said that I wasn't sure at this point. They just said to let them know when I do.

So yeah, an interesting week. I'm glad it's done and that I only had to do it once. I have to say though, getting my wisdom teeth taken out was more painful than this :-P

Ooooh.

I can't wait until my bandages come off.

My head isn't actually sore, but the bandage is so tight against my right ear that I'm feeling the constant pressure. Isn't that funny? That this is my biggest complaint.

The surgery went well and I was able to stay awake until after dinner, then I snoozed on and off. Watched a bit of TV and read my magazine. Well, I looked at the pictures, I was too tired to actually read.

I had an overnight stay in the hospital (where I only managed four hours sleep total), and was able to leave about midmorning today. I had the option of staying another night, or going home and having a nurse come to my place tomorrow morning to take the bandages off. OF COURSE I went with the second option. It's nice to be home and able to use the computer again :-)

I'm trying to keep my mind off my head and just stay awake so that I'll have a full-night's sleep. Fortunately the nurse is coming over pretty early in the morning so I don't have too long a wait.

So, good news all around. The surgery is over and I'm fine, no dizziness or actual pain. Oh, except for a sore throat from the breathing tube during surgery. Anyway, now I get to hang around and distract myself with whatever strikes my mood. I feel lucky that I've had a quick hospital stay and only a minor complaint (or two).

The hard part is nearly over. Now I can't wait for the switch-on in June.

*squee!*

Well, this is it! I go into Surgery today.

I'm not nervous at all. I have to turn up at ten thirty this morning, but they said that the surgery probably won't happen until the afternoon. Their advice? Bring a book. So I'm actually dreading the wait and hoping I don't get myself worked up.

Mum is coming with me, so I'm going to bring my laptop. I can actually use it in the waiting area, how cool is that? And of course Mum can hold on to it for me when they're ready.

It's actually been quiet spn story wise, hasn't it? So I'll probably be bringing up some old stories and re-reading them. That'll be kind of nice actually...

Here I go, blathering on about reading when I should be telling you guys what will happen. But I don't know! I'll wait, get called up, change in the horrible hospital scrubs, wait in the bed for another half-hour, get wheeled in, get injected with the sleeping stuff that feels freezing as it goes through your veins. Lose conciousness, then wake up three hours later and go, "already?"

Then probably sleep and read and sleep, eat dinner, read and sleep. Go home in the morning.

Wonder how well I predicted my day? I'll let you know :-D

Seven days to go before surgery...

I had the pre-surgical discussion this afternoon. I picked out which brand of cochlear speech processor I wanted to wear (basically the part that sits behind my ear like a hearing-aid), and also what colour it should be. I picked beige. Boring as hell, you say? Probably, but at least it matches my hearing-aid, and I do so like to co-ordinate my outfits.

Incidently, I picked the Australian brand. I just liked it more, but I'll smirk about that anyway.

The surgery is next Monday, and will be in the morning and last about three hours at the most. Then an overnight stay at the hospital, but I get to go home the next day. Which is pretty good! Recovery should be only about a week, but I've taken two weeks off. Hey, it was their idea! At work, I mean. I saved up a lot of leave just in case for this, and they want me to use it up. Fine by me.

I'll be at Mum's place for the week, just so that I don't have to worry about shopping and stuff. I'm relieved about that actually, and Mum likes the idea of being able to coddle me. I hope I don't go mental from the smothering, but I'll bring books and my laptop with me and I should survive. And yes, okay, I like being looked after, so what? I hate to cook.

The switch-on happens in June, and I'll know more then about what exercises I should do to help the hearing along. The switch-on is the part that I'm REALLY looking forward to, for obvious reasons. I know that it'll be just a few sounds to begin with, but I can't wait to work on improving it as fast as I can. They said that I could go straight back to work on the day of the switch-on, which is weird but cool. Who knows how I'll be feeling? That's all up in the air at the moment. Let's get through the surgery first.

There's still the anesthesiest to see, and hospital forms to chase up and sign. Having the surgery so soon after the go-ahead for the implant hasn't left me much time to organise all the red tape. Only downer to not having a long wait, but at least I can't put stuff off, procasinator that I am. I have Mum reminding me of everything too *rolls eyes*

I've been feeling odd as the surgery day looms closer. I've practically become a hermit and leaving the hearing-aid off for long periods. I guess that's my way of dealing with the idea of increased hearing. I really hope to be able to be more social, so call this my last hurrah for my hermit status - and the quiet. I'll be dragging my friends places before the year is out, just you wait and see.

Alongside my need to wait for surgery, I've been on tenterhooks about the j2 big bang. Soon, there'll be so many lovely new stories! Lovely, lovely stories. But I stupidly thought May 1 was when we could start reading them, completely forgetting that May 1 is actually the deadline for the DRAFTS. We can't start reading them until June. Sod it, this month would've been the perfect reading month! *heavy sigh*

Oh well. I can re-read my old favourites until then.

So...yeah. I went with my mother to see Prof. Atlas yesterday (that IS his name, I kid you not). It was to see what he had to say about getting a cochlear implant.

The conversation was very long-winded so I will sum it up for you.

He says I should go for it, because even if the worst scenario happened and I couldn't get any use out of the implant, I wouldn't be any worse off than before. And the cost is VERY reasonable so I really don't have anything to lose. And the research I've done shows that's it's a very routine operation with minimal risk.

I've decided to go ahead with it. OMG.

The surgery is scheduled for the 12th of May, THIS YEAR.

That's only four weeks away!

*flails*

I am happy but also scared. I know, weird right? But I know this is going to change things and I can't believe that it's going to happen. I'm going to need the four weeks to even process this.

I'm going to visit the family in about an hour, and I'll be telling them all about it and get excited about it again. But when I get home again I just know that I'll go back to quietly freaking out.

Not going to stop me from going ahead with it though. I'll just take it as it comes, including the hearing rehab for the next twelve months.

*Happy/scared*

*HAPPY/SCARED*

I've got some pretty big news... well, it's big to me anyway. Yesterday I went to the Lions Hearing Institute to discuss the viability of getting a cochlear implant.

Okay, for the context here - I'm completely deaf in one ear and half deaf in the other. I wear a hearing-aid and lipread, and I've been able to get by pretty well. I've even had people say that I speak so well that they can't tell that I'm deaf. I know what they mean, because most deaf and hearing impaired people tend to miss vowels and that sort of thing. 

My deafness is such that it can't be fixed. The hairs lining the cochlear in my ears are either dead or damaged, and short of regrowing the hairs, there's nothing we can do about that. That technology doesn't exist yet. Even though I've read stuff on regrowing organs, medical science is still a long way off from such a delicate thing as the hairs lining the cochlear.

So I had pretty much resigned myself to being deaf my whole life. But at the prodding of my sister, I went to see a hearing specialist about two years ago see if there was any technology that could even make things easier. And to my amazement, he told me that there had been advances in cochlear implants that I could benefit from.

Until recently, cochlear implants were only given to those who were already deaf or just about deaf. The implant replaces audioligical hearing with an electronic version from the implant. Any hearing they might have had before is lost. Hence only profundly deaf people go for it. And sometimes not even they, because there is a very vibrant Deaf culture with sign language that is wonderfully expressive and they don't really miss out on anything. They can communicate properly and that's the important thing.

Anyway, the point is that my hearing is pretty good with the hearing-aid, and why make it worse? But since I'm completely deaf in the other ear, it turns out that we can work with that. There have been success stories of patients being able to reconcile their good hearing with the implant and make them work together. Which means increased hearing. How much more depends on each person.

Which is what the appointment was about yesterday. She did some hearing tests and we talked about costs and possible benifits, etc. Worst case scenario is that I can hear more noise, and will be able to tell where sound is coming from. Which I can't do at the moment. But, the best case is that I get speech recognition with the implant. Which would give me full hearing in that ear. More or less, becuase it's not quite the same as normal hearing. Synthetic rather that organic. LIke the difference between a piano and a synthesiser.

ANYWAY, this is amazing news and I'm excited about the possibilites. I'm not that excited yet, I still need to look into it more and talk to someone who had the implant. He had to work really hard to make the implant work, and I want to know what I would have to do. But there's hope!

*Does the Snoopy happy dance*