leodragon1

I'M BACK!

Did you guys even know that I was gone? Probably not. *huffs*

To make a long and aggravating story short - I've been offline for three weeks. IT WAS HORRIBLE. I couldn't access the internet from home AT ALL, and I nearly went spare at how long it took to get the situation fixed. My god! How it went offline was my fault, but the incompetents on the other end managed to stuff it up a couple of times and TURNED THE WAIT INTO WEEKS. I'd get a text on my mobile to say that I was reconnected, and then I'd try to get online, and find out that IT WAS LIES, ALL LIES. I'm not getting over that any time soon.

Man, the stories and posts in my inbox has been piling up, and I don't know what to catch up on first! There's comments to reply to, feedback to leave, friends to catch up on. What to do first? *spins around in circles and falls over*

I lie, I knew that the first order of business was to post that I've been away, so that when I start commenting on posts or stories that are three weeks old, it might be obvious why. I've been sneaking online at work, but I couldn't do that much. I mean, what if someone managed to catch me just when I was reading a really hot, steamy sex scene? Erk. My back is sore from how tense I got from trying to get away with reading at work. I need a massage now.

Ah, but now I've got all night, in the privacy of my own home. That sounds almost dirty, doesn't it? *smirks*

Bye now!

Happy birthday to me!
Happy birthday to me!
Happy birthday to dear Leodraaaagon.
Happy birthday to me! *sings very off-key*

Hey, hey! *waves champagne glass* I know I haven't been posting, but really, how many people are that interested? Anyway, I've been busy reading all the big bang fics that I can handle. DROWNING IN THEM, IN FACT. And wow, so many talented people out there in the spn fandom! Lucky us. I haven't read them all yet. That's gonna take me a while, egads.

So yes, been too busy reading to write any stories, and I know a couple (alright, SEVERAL) of you having been asking me if I'm going to write more stuff after that dragon epic. I will, I promise! *facepalm* I've got a few story ideas, actually, including a couple of potential co-writing projects. Watch this space!

Anyway, it was my birthday yesterday. Turned thirty two and all. Must remember that number, because I just forget how old I am these days. Most of the time I feel a lot younger, sometimes a little older... but never the actual number. Jensen Ackles is the same age as me though, ha ha! *iz smug*

Which is also kind of weird, because all my celeb crushes used to be thirty years old when I was fifteen. Now they're still thirty. I'VE OVERTAKEN THEM AND CATCHING SPEED, ZOMG.

Not all of them though. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, you hunky man you! Actually, how old is he? Nevermind, he's older, THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.

And alright, yes, I might also have a crush on Zac Efron. So sue me.

I've only JUST gotten home. I stayed back late at work, and then I decided to pick up dinner on the the way home. I plan to do nothing but veg for what's left of the night.

TIRED.

At least I have tomorow (Friday) off. And Monday is a public holiday, so that's a four day weekend. Yay!

I've heard all about clinical depression, the can't-even-get-out-of-bed kind. But is it possible to suffer a really mild form of it that's just not obvious?
 
A kind of depression where you're pretty much fuctioning normally, but with a general feeling of antipathy. Like I'm just going through the motions.

Because, to be honest, I find it REALLY hard to summon up any good or bad feelings about anything. I've been coasting on a general disinterest about everything for a long time now. I honestly can't remember the last time I actually got excited. Even when I got the news about the rest of season 4 for Supernatural finally coming back on the air (and about time too!), I swear to you that I flailed about it for exactly a minute and then the mood was over, and I was back to a general state of blah, as if the news had never happened. That really can't be normal.

I'm even more blah about work. Yeah, most of us hate our job, but I'm becoming the worst employee in the world, turning up late (though I do stay back a bit to make up for it), and being really slow to get started with things, and taking a lot of breaks. I'm usually a real professional when it comes to work, but one of co-workers keeps having to take up the slack and that is just not on. I used to take a lot of pride in my job, but lately...

And yeah, I've been thinking of looking for another job, but I haven't made any moves towards that. It's like I'm stuck in a feeling of inertia - I want to leave, but I can't make myself do anything about being able to leave. And it's like that in other parts of my life. I can't make myself change anything or MOVE ON.

And I'm putting on weight, because I haven't been in the mood to cook, or even go shopping for meat and vegs. So it's all been takeout lately. Halp.

I've got all these ideas for stories too, but I haven't written anything since the Dragon AU was finished.

*sigh*

P.S. I posted this during one of my breaks at work, 'cos I'm putting off having to do something.

I've just set up a dreamwidth account (under leodragon1 again, I'm not giving myself whiplash, alright?) AND a twitter account, in the space of an hour.

God, what am I DOING? I tried to resist, I really did! How many tabs am I going to have open on my computer by the end of the year?

*sigh*

*grins*

Anyway, I'm staying on livejournal, no worries there, but I decided to give DW a go, in case livejournal somehow folds up on itself one day. What? It could happen.

So I'm posting this entry on dreamwidth, and hoping this will turn up on my lj post like they said it would. Fingers crossed.

ETA: After it failed the first two times, I finally got the crossposting to work. What is it about things happening in threes? Weird. But yay, my journals are linked!

To my fellow Aussies and Kiwis, celebrating Anzac Day today.

Lest We Forget.

My mum has this saying - "When it rains, it pours". I must REALLY believe in this saying, because this week I've been out almost every night and I haven't had time to write anything!

For serious. This weekend I went to an empowerment seminar that started at nine each day and usually finished ten thirty at night. Actually, Friday was the first day, and Sunday I had to leave around lunch for a family get-together that included my nephew James, who's started walking. Awwww. He was so cute as he tottered about and then fell on his bum! But that was a late night too. Monday was a day off, thank god, but that was spent catching up on my weekend work (like washing the clothes). Tuesday (yesterday) I went with a couple of friends to see My Bloody Valentine in 3D. Jensen for the win! I jumped out of my seat a few times, which was fun and usually hard to get me to do.

Now tonight it's my dad's birthday, and my family are having dinner at a nice restaurant. Another night gone. *facepalm*

I hope nothing comes up tomorrow.

The funny thing is that I've enjoyed my week so far. It's just so frustrating that I've started writing, and I've got less free time than usual! I hardly EVER go out. I am such a hermit, no joke. If I was a pessimist, I'd think the universe was telling me something.

*gloom*

OMG, it is so hot tonight. If I didn't have the fan going right now, I'd be melting into the chair.

I wonder if I'll actually sleep tonight?

Yay, fun time with start of the hot weather.

*sigh*

Merry Christmas everybody!

It's Christmas Day for some of you, but actually the day after for me. So now i can go online again :-P

I need to finish up on the happiness meme:

Christmas Eve was day seven. I went with Mum to the 6.30 mass at Church. This is the one where the kids act out the nativity story.  A LOT of people always turn up to this one, so it's easier to have the mass outdoors and have everybody bring their own chairs. And since it's summer here, the weather always co-operates.

Anyway, the parents went all out for this one! The girl playing Mary rode in on an actual donkey, and the Three Wise Men came in on camels. Oh yeah! It was awesome, and the kids were great and had a ball.

Day Eight was Christmas Day. I had slept over Mum's place, so we had a lazy breakfast before getting ready for the Christmas lunch. The family turned up, including my nephew, who had turned exactly one year old. Yep, Christmas Day is his birthday. He wore an adorable Santa jumpsuit. For presents, we did the Kris Kringle thing, so I got one big present. It's a Webber for my courtyard! (That's a small barbeque, for those who don't know).

After a long lunch and watching a movie, I went to visit my friend Shelley. She gave me Supernatural presents! One is a cloth bag with the boys on the front (shirtless!), and a pillowcase with the same thing. *lol* I loved them. She found a site online that makes them up. It's great that we're both Supernatural fans. I gave her a voucher for a pampering session at a Day Spa. Not the whole works (unfortunately), but an hour and twenty minutes. I'm sure she'll love it.

And now, I'm going to get back into all the reading I've missed, hee. *runs off*

Officially finishing work and being on holidays! *dances*

Plus, I did my last bit of Christmas shopping after work. I am DONE. *dances some more*

That was today's bit for the happiness meme.

Hey, if you guys were curious about what my speech processor looks like, here's a You Tube link to a pretty good video clip:


http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=tj4GK46xuG0&feature=related


And now, I'm off to bed. Got the Christmas lunch tomorrow. Well I say lunch, but it's actually a party that goes on from noon until five. How's that for letting your hair down? It's going to be a great day.

Awesome news! A spare processor is being mailed to me as even as I write this!

:- )  :- )  :- )  :- )  :- )

I made the dreaded phone call to my audiologist yesterday, who was very awesome and understanding. She said that she was SURE that they had a spare processor that she could give me until I managed to get a new one. She added that she would contact me as soon as she knew either way. I wanted to hug her through the phone! *lol*

But I still had  to worry that there wasn't one available. That's me, glass half empty.

If you're confused as to what I'm talking about - apparently they call the part of the cochlear that I wear over my ear the processor. I like that name actually, cos that's exactly what it does. It picks up the soundwaves outside my ear and processses them into electrical impulses for my brain to translate and turn into sound. Cool, eh?

Anyway, this morning I got an email confirming that yes they had one, and would I like to get it posted or picked up?

God, what a relief! I have never replied so fast or so eagerly to an email in my life.

I decided to have it posted to me since that would be easier than trying to come in, what with the mad Christmas rush at work thlis week.  Hopefully I'll get it in the mail tommorow (which is a Friday). Do they deliver on the weekend before Christmas? You know, for all those letters and presents being sent through the mail at the last minute? I hope so anyway.

So I will only have been without a processor for a week. Not too bad. I'm sure it won't have made any difference to my progress. Yay!

I'm still sorting out the insurance side of it, but at least I can take as long as I need to claim it as lost. So there's a good chance that the costs will be covered for a new one. Double yay!


P.S. I told my family about losing the processor the day after it happened. Mum was actually pretty calm, trying to figure out if I actually did have insurance as she thought she might have done that part for me. It was my sister who read me the riot act about not insuring it. Typical - she's the responsible one and would've insured it from the get go. Sometimes I hate her.

Do you know what happened today?

I don't even want to say this...

I lost my cochlear.

I LOST MY COCHLEAR.

*headdesk and stays there*

I'm actually talking about the hearing-aid part of the cochlear. It sits over my ear and is the part that lets me hear out of my deaf ear.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. This isn't like like losing a pen or even my car keys! This is an expensive piece of equipment and I'm supposed to wear it as much as I can, so that my hearing improves each day. And now it's lying on the floor somewhere and it's not like I have my name on it!

It was so stupid! I went on the bike with Shelley today, and I had to wear a helmet. The last time I went on the bike, I was paranoid and careful enough to take the cochlear off first and put it in my bag, because I had noticed how tight the helmet was and didn' t want it to come off when I pulled the helmet off. Well, this time I just blithely put the helmet on and managed to forget I was wearing the cochlear. How could I forget that?!

I guess I'm just more used to wearing it now. Oh, the irony.

We went to a couple of places and walked around town for an hour or so, so there's several places where it could've fallen off. I only realised it was missing because I decided to turn it back on and try listening with both ears for a bit. When I'm with someone, sometimes I just use the hearing-aid for a rest. So I might have noticed sooner if I was actually going to use it! Oh, that makes me feel so much better.

Shelley must've seen the shock on my face, because she asked me what was wrong. And then we went back to to the bar and the library and bike to see if it was there. Noooo. I really didn't think we would find it though. And now I'm so depressed. I'm going to have to find out how much a new one costs and see if the insurance covers losing the silly thing. But, uh. I hadn't insured it yet. Yes, I know! Hopefully I can still put the forms through and THEN tell them I need a new one or something. But I'm sure there's a waiting period, they're not dumb. But I need to do something like this, beause I think they cost about seven thousand dollars. I don't have that kind of money lying around!

This could so easily have been avoided if I'd been more careful. It's just so typical of me. I'm not careful enough of my things. I'm going to have to tell Mum, and I can just imagine her reaction. Sort of disappointed and frustrated and sympathetic. *sigh*  I'll do it tomorrow, I don't have the energy tonight. Got big bottle of coke here and will probably drink the whole bottle tonight. Since I'd only just decided to quit having cool drink all time and stick to water, this is kinda like falling off the wagon. WHAT THE HELL, I'M ENTITLED. At least I'm not breaking out the beer stash.

Where is it? Anyone picking it up isn't going to have a clue what to do with it. If I'm really lucky and that person is really smart, maybe they'll see that it looks like a hearing aid (and how many people know what a hearing-aid looks like?), so they'll ring up a hearing centre and ask what to do with it. And hopefully the hearing centre will know that the Lions Institute does cochlear implants and send it to them and I'll get a call. But they won't know to call ME unless I tell them I've lost it.

*meep*

Maybe I won't be so upset tomorrow, but right now? Totally kicking myself.

Repainted my kitchen this weekend and tonight, with the help of dominiondreams. *hugs* The colour I picked out is AWESOME. Seriously, a professional designer couldn't have done it better. Though Shelley was the one to suggest going for the suede look. Velvety light chocolate brown? We both rock. And my kitchen looks so edible that I want to break out my chocolate stash.

Uh oh.

Next up, a proper wall unit. And new curtains!

Yes, yes, I've caught the decorating bug. This is actually a good thing, because suddenly I feel like I can make it a home, not just a place that I've bought and live at. It's a great feeling.

So, my parents are officially getting divorced.

This is not really a suprise. Mum and Dad have been seperated for the past two years, with Mum living on her own and Dad waffling back and forth between her and the other woman.

It was like Dad couldn't make up his mind. Nothing was really changing and he refused to get therapy, even though we all think it's depression talking. Male menopause or something.  But just the other day they had a talk and decided to get divorced. As mum put it, when was the last time they made each other laugh?

It's not as upsetting as it would've been if me and my siblings were still kids and living at home, but it's still depressing. I really did think my parents had a good marriage. Isn't anybody staying together anymore?

Sorry if I brought anybody down with this post, but I had to get it off my chest.

And now I'm going to read me some schmoopy slash! Even though I should probably be going to bed. Story first, sleep later.

My toilet got blocked up over the weekend, and now I'm staying at my mum's place while shit (pardon the pun) gets sorted out.

I walked into work this morning and found out that one of the Records guys has just quit. There's only three of us for the whole company. Down to two.

Then I looked at my calender and realised that I had an appointment at the dentist, which I've only just gotten back from. It was an expensive outing. My financial worries have gone up a notch.

This is not a good day.

I poured myself a glass of coke just now, and I heard the fizzling of the coke as it went into the glass!

I don't know why I'm so excited by that, but I just am. Maybe because it's the most subtle sound I've heard with the cochlear so far.

Baby steps, but each new step is awesome!

Oh man, I never thought getting used to my cochlear implant would be so hard, or so freaking tiring.

( Read more... )

My modem crashed and I couldn't use the internet for four days. God, the HORROR!

I nearly spazzed. Every night I was on the phone to my service provider, following their instructions so that we could figure out what was wrong. It was all "Plug the modem directly into the phone connection. Did that work? No? Try this..."

All fairness to them, the technicians really tried (Each night it was a different guy, but since I had a case file number that was okay). One guy suggested that I borrow a second modem and see if that made a difference. Which I did, and no it didn't. By the third day I was wondering if I had to get someone to come by and check my phone line, and I couldn't stand the idea of having to wait another week. Impatient much? Noooo...

And in the meantime, I had no access to the J2 big bang or my lj or hotmail - I was just imagining the pile up in my in-box. My best friend was without it for weeks when hers wouldn't work. Long story. God, imagine what her in-box was like. But especially the big bang - there were a couple of stories I knew were being posted up and I coudn't read them. Not even at work, 'cos one of them was a porn-shoot story and imagine someone at work reading THAT over my shoulder *shudders* I wanted to be able to read them in the privacy of my own home, dammit.

Ah, but now I get to the good news! They called me up again tonight and said they had figured out the problem. \o/ It turned out to be from their end, OF COURSE. I re-registered the modem and voila, it was on again! I have never been so happy to see those little blinking green lights in my life. May they stay on forever.

So now I'm back, and I'm going to have to catch up on my missing days. I've been going through my inbox, but there's still too much to read. I'm going to bed. Gonna have to skip the shopping tomorrow. But on the bright side - so many new stories!

OMG, I'm a bit freaked out. Where's that drink?

Okay, I'm overreacting a bit. Probably. Definitely.

What happened is that Dad had "a tiff" with his girlfriend and decided to come over to my place for a bit after I came home from work. I was like, oh okay. Since I was going to finish last night's leftovers and had to nothing actually make a meal for two people, we ordered chinese and watched TV. Normal night, right?

Except this is the first time this has happened to me - Dad having a fight with his girlfriend and coming over to my place. I feel like Dad's too old for it. If that's irrational, I don't know. Then I realised that he actually meant to stay the night. Through a misunderstanding, I didn't realise this until pretty late in the evening, and that threw more into even more of a loop. Only the couch was available (a two seater) and I only had a knitted blanket and a pillow from my bed for him to use. I felt like a bad host, even moreso when I didn't offer the use of my bed. But dammit, he, he... I don't know!

The thing is, even though I love my Dad and we get along, I'm not especially comfortable with him. He's not very talkative and sometimes (most times) I feel like I'm trying to carry the conversation. And right now, the reminder that Dad has a girlfriend who is not Mum is making me feel icky.

I know that I'm lucky not to be a child of divorce. The seperation is only recent and I'm all grown up and with my own place. But suddenly I have a lot of empathy with any kid who has divorced or seperated parents. It changes your world view and can make for uncomfortable situations. I mean, if Dad was still happily married to Mum I wouldn't have had him turning up on my doorstep out of the blue tonight. I don't have that blissful security anymore.

Gotta go read something happy now.